Dear Neighbor 1:
WTH. When thinking of planting options for your small condo patio, why on Earth did you think three ficus trees + one eucalyptus tree + one bougainvillea plant (that you never prune, ever) were the way to go? I hate you, and I hate cleaning up your giant tree messes. Please trim back before I poison.
Dear Neighbor 2:
It's been two days since we've been home. What makes you think that a carport is an appropriate parking space for your busted couch? Please get your shit together.