VD is almost here!

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I'm Catter than Cat

...She says, with a look that says killer.


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Queen of the Flies

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sorry guys, i had to share the goods. (shudder)

Damn.

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Comma Dies

I'm pretty sure this is the best headline ever.

Last Suppers

James Reynolds has created a series of photographs documenting former Death Row prisoners' requests for their last meal before execution. These photos were so striking, that I couldn't pick just a couple.

Why the hell not? Who cares about arteries at this time. Bring on the KFC!

Oh, what a thoughtful inmate. No one wants their last exhale to be anything but minty fresh. Is this to mask the tears?

Prisoner #589641350179: Anna Wintour?

1 dry ass cracker, coming up!

Hmmm... c'mon, go wild, why doncha?

That's more like it!

Prisoner #456881235166: David Sedaris?

Prisoner #351896725116: Cool Hand Luke?

Prisoner #758283140953625: Homer Simpson?

What would you order for your last meal?

I would hands down order a meatloaf cake with a scorpion bowl to wash it down.

Not an entirely bad way to go...

(CNN) -- An employee at a New Jersey chocolate processing plant died Wednesday after falling into a vat of hot chocolate, according to a spokesman for the Camden County Prosecutor's office.

Vincent Smith II, 29, was dumping raw chocolate into the vat for melting when he fell in from a nine-foot high platform. He suffered a fatal blow to the head from the vat's agitator, a paddle-like mechanism used for stirring the chocolate.

According to the Camden County prosecutor's office, three other people were on the platform at the time. One was able to shut the machinery off quickly, but it was too late to save Smith.

The facility, owned by Cocoa Services Inc., is managed and operated by by Lyons and Sons.

The rectangular vat, which was 8 feet deep, 14 feet long and 6 feet wide, was churning a batch of chocolate for Hershey's when the accident occurred, the prosecutor's office said.

Fabio Addendum

This is a follow up to Drollgirl's last post. Me thinks this is the highlight of his career. The moral of the video: Fabio = gracious, strong schnoz.

cat killer caught

I'm sure this horrid cat killer story has been picked up by National press but these whacked out cat killings are the biggest thing going on in my neck of the woods right now. To get you cubs up to speed: over 19 dead severely mutilated cats have been found in Miami in the past few weeks. Most of these cats have been neighborhood pets and kittens gone missing. Everyone has been freaking out assuming it was some sort of satanic ritual or gang initiation. Older people love jumping to those two conclusions. Anyways, I had a feeling it was going to be some well to do sadistic teenage fucker with too much time on his hands. Well my kitties, I was right. Police arrested this kid who they've suspected was the cat killer for quite some time.

Courtesy of Miami-Dade Corrections

Tyler “cat killer” Weinman, not his class picture but his mugshot. Yes, he's actually smiling.

Who smiles like this in a mugshot???

Not too many details have been released on the crimes themselves but it has been reported that several of these massacred cats were discovered posed. This gross freak of nature posed the poor cats for sick satisfaction...and not in a good way ala my favorite David Shrigley piece:

CAT. Taxidermy, wood, acrylic paint

This whole thing really disturbs me. Not only does this creep live 10 minutes from my parents home but he also graduated from my high school. People are seemingly pleased to have the suspected killer caught but many folks are still defending him saying he was a good kid. I have realized that I clearly don't believe in justice or innocence before proven guilty. I have already convicted this sicko in my mind and I want him to get the maximum sentence for his Dexter-ish cat crimes. Fortunately slick guy over here just turned 18 so he's nice and legal. He'll be some juicy low hanging fruit in jail.
I really like my mother's suggested punishment of locking him in a cage with a really hungry man eating lion.

Patient zero found

Via Gawker.

Need someone to take your drunk ass home? this is SO WRONG

Ok...
so Diceman and I are driving around yesterday...and I *GASP* "I swear I just saw a cab with a condom guy logo!". We had passed him quickly and I thought, maybe I didn't see that right.
(plus we were driving by the Scottsdale Borgata!)

We let him catch up, in fact he ends up going to the same gas station with us. It got WORSE.. so the Cab Company is NAMED "Jimmy Hat Cab Company" and the logo is ...yes... a condom ...a personified condom at that.. and it is over the "J" like a condom that has been applied.

Well, I get marketing and grabbing attention.. you only get 1 shot, all that...BUT seems highly inappropriate for a business that focuses on.............

1. driving drunk girls home
2. driving business men and woman to the airport and back home
3. picking up tourists at upscale resorts to take them to fashion square... or
p.f. changs...
4. taking $5 hookers and/or their John's to pay by the hour motels
5. taking $1000 hookers to your home or office party
(ok 2 appropriate uses IF prositution were legal, otherwise-no,not over my dead hookers body)

.........to have this painted on your car..and HUGE..not to mention when your in any of these situations how you would avoid this company when looking up a cab company in the first place. It's not like people just dial "cab" and wait for something to show up.
also, in the tourist cases, typically another person is calling the cab for you and they sure as hell arn't going to pick this one and have a couple little old ladies waiting in the valet only to see this thing pull up.

I just visualize being in this cab...alone.. with a guy driving this and on so many levels I'm disturbed

so, between this and the looks of the driver, your chances of being raped in a cab seem likely, but they WILL use a condom so it's really not that bad.
although if I were a judge in the case afterwards I might just skip to "well she was asking for it" instead of my usual.. "well, what was she wearing?"


ps - why does everything have to be personified? thats really the point of this post.