Need gift ideas?

Thanks to a tip from The Worst Things For Sale, I can offer some tantalizing present ideas! Available from the TSX Toys store at Amazon.com.

This terrifying cock ring which could make your tool look like the pistil of some alien carnivorous plant:

Two thumbs up! Your butt!

Not even kidding here, this is called Moby's Dick: Anatomically Correct Whale Member.

And, for some reason, this:

Happy Friday!

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Layers of white on white

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Kazimir Malevich's version:

Banksy flower chucker costume

Nailed it.

via: top and bottom

Hot guys from Sad Etsy Boyfriends

Your results at Sad Etsy Boyfriends may vary.

Biscoff Spread is made out of f#cking cookies; may summon demons or propel you into a Kubrick film

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Um, Jesus? We were kind of thinking about... you know, and you're like... watching.

Available for purchase here.

via and thank you Caroline.

So.... vagina cakes are a thing.

And this is the least NSFW and/or disturbing of them. Gird your loins, prepare yourselves, then click here at Mommyish for nine more.

Thank you to Leyla

I'll just put this here in case you need it.

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Thanks, Japan: Butt Pudding

Japan has come up with amusing pudding molds that allow you to create gelatin butt parfaits. You can buy the kits at Amazon.co.jp.

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Happy Friday

Go on with your bad, saggy, tiger butt. Available here, along with other terrible things.

Hello Beery!

I NEED THIS
More info at io9.

To wrap up fashion week

This IS the perfect costume for the day.
Always.

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I hope I look this much like Jackie O if I off myself*

This is Evelyn McHale after her jump from the Empire State Building in May of 1947. 'The Most Beautiful Suicide' is what Life magazine titled this photo by Robert C. Wiles, a photographer that happened to be across the street when she landed with a crash on a UN limousine.

More information about Evelyn at Kottke.

* not likely

Finally, an underground lair of your very own!

This is 3970 Spencer Street in Las Vegas, Nevada, a 2BR house currently on sale for $1.7M.

Doesn't look that special, does it? Why so much money?

Maybe it's because of the nuclear bomb proof 2BR house/1BR guest house built underneath it in the 15,200 square foot basement.

More information and photos at Messy Nessy Chic.

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I can only assume this is a stripper's audition tape

Notes: Needs to work on "fuck me" face. Should learn to make eye contact with the client. Otherwise good work.

Another magical visit to...

...Girls of Ebay!

Hair Teeth

Mr. Basic from the ConcaveOblivion shop on Etsy has created accessories that smile so you don't have to.

Other choices include an iPhone case and a compact.
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Bai Ling

I'm finally watching Lost and got to the episode with Bai Ling. I forgot about her and her crazy fashion sense.

sources: aolcdn, celebitchy, emma good egg, hotel fashionland, image collect, posh 24, famous dude.

Happy Friday!

I'm sorry.

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death star butt

That's no moon... oh, no, wait, it is a moon.

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Previously: dog butt; cat butt

Hold that tiger!

Chengdu Zoo in China regularly conducts animal escape drills in which a person dresses in costume and runs amok.

Tigger here has escaped and is headed out to get drunk, listen to Manowar and maybe flip a car over.

Not so fast, Tigger. Your "don't tranq me, dude" pleas will go unheard.

Tigger's friend yells supportive things like, "Watch out for your cornhole, buddy."

From top, via, via and via

They're all drunk as Love (apologies to Jimi Hendrix)

Happy Friday!

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It puts the fondant on its skin or else it gets the knife again

THIS IS A CAKE.
More photos and the story at Miss Cakehead.

stop it Caroline

Sid Vicious on his way to a Bowie concert, 1973

via, and a h/t to my friend Caroline