Monday.

Via (thanks Caroline)

Happy Friday o_0

Via

Also: SO much of this.

Coco on a surfboard machine

top image from imgur; other two from fitnessgifs4u (and thanks to Keith)

Try not to feel too badly about it though

Via

Those are weird dogs

Via

This is probably not going to be very protective

I doubt she cares, somehow.

Thank you Mikey

Oh Han... you're such a dick.

$65.00 from PaulMichaelDesign on Etsy. He has many other fantastic, geeky jewelry choices.

Featuring musical selections by Ron.

via

Speaking of V...

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Vagina toast

A couple years ago I bought the guy I was dating a custom toaster from Burnt Impressions for Christmas. He loved toast and would eat all mine at brunch, but didn't own a toaster. It would burn skulls into his bread and, since he was a Misfits fan, I had them put the Crimson Ghost skull on the side of the toaster itself. Unfortunately he suddenly turned into a giant vagina in early December and I ended up throwing the beautifully wrapped toaster, along with one of his sweaters, down the garbage chute.

This toaster would have been more appropriate for him:

"The Vagina (A.K.A. Eye of Sauron's Vulva) Toaster" is also on offer from Burnt Impressions. An obvious Valentine's Day choice, it will cost you $34.95 + $11 shipping at Amazon.

I want this

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I have goth to get a hold of myself

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How easily it all slips away

Before:

During:

After:

More photos and information from Cincinnati.com.

Thanks to Zach for this one.

Curbed's 35 most horrifying real estate photos of 2013

Here's a sample.

The vomit aparment:

The blood apartment:

The Pepto-Bismol apartment:

And the "I keep my chewed gum on the side of the bathtub" apartment:

Many more horrors here at Curbed (and see if you can spot the Tiger Butter favorite!).

Don't do this

I don't care how shiny, spunky and perky you are.

via

Screaming a little inside

This is the "after" shot - after this man's severed right hand was reattached to his wrist, after his right arm had healed up enough to allow the doctors to do so.

But before they could reattach the hand, they had to keep it alive somehow. The way they did that was to SURGICALLY ATTACH IT TO HIS ANKLE WITH A LOT OF PINS STICKING OUT OF HIS FLESH AND THE WHOLE THING IS JUST WRONG-LOOKING. I will let you decide if you want to see it at The Daily Mail.

Thank you to Marguerite. I think.

Wonder Wonder Woman

Louie del Carmen's drawing via Laughing Squid

Need gift ideas?

Thanks to a tip from The Worst Things For Sale, I can offer some tantalizing present ideas! Available from the TSX Toys store at Amazon.com.

This terrifying cock ring which could make your tool look like the pistil of some alien carnivorous plant:

Two thumbs up! Your butt!

Not even kidding here, this is called Moby's Dick: Anatomically Correct Whale Member.

And, for some reason, this:

Happy Friday!

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Layers of white on white

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Kazimir Malevich's version:

Banksy flower chucker costume

Nailed it.

via: top and bottom

Hot guys from Sad Etsy Boyfriends

Your results at Sad Etsy Boyfriends may vary.

Biscoff Spread is made out of f#cking cookies; may summon demons or propel you into a Kubrick film

via

Um, Jesus? We were kind of thinking about... you know, and you're like... watching.

Available for purchase here.

via and thank you Caroline.

So.... vagina cakes are a thing.

And this is the least NSFW and/or disturbing of them. Gird your loins, prepare yourselves, then click here at Mommyish for nine more.

Thank you to Leyla

I'll just put this here in case you need it.

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Thanks, Japan: Butt Pudding

Japan has come up with amusing pudding molds that allow you to create gelatin butt parfaits. You can buy the kits at Amazon.co.jp.

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Happy Friday

Go on with your bad, saggy, tiger butt. Available here, along with other terrible things.

Hello Beery!

I NEED THIS
More info at io9.

To wrap up fashion week

This IS the perfect costume for the day.
Always.

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I hope I look this much like Jackie O if I off myself*

This is Evelyn McHale after her jump from the Empire State Building in May of 1947. 'The Most Beautiful Suicide' is what Life magazine titled this photo by Robert C. Wiles, a photographer that happened to be across the street when she landed with a crash on a UN limousine.

More information about Evelyn at Kottke.

* not likely