Friday, July 16, 2010

Happy Friday!

Dontcha just wish you could stay in bed?
(bidorbuy.co.za)

Well, you can't, so grab your bag...
(giftsgalore.ca)

And put on your shoes...
(kicksonfire.com)

...and don't forget your sun visor.
(overstockhats.com)

Me? Oh, I'll be into the office later, I have a dentist appointment.

(kitchulike.com)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

let me just check my coin purse

RP/Encore features a number of "bold accessories" in its Vermin line, such as the Rat Bowtie and the Pigeon Wing Necklace and, of course, the Large White Rat Coin Purse (which still has its own coin purse) shown above. Their disclaimer states that all the animals used for this line were "the victims of road kill, pest control or natural death" except in some cases (due to high demand, I suppose, like around Christmas) they'll use "feeder rats".
photo via greenopolis

this guy must know the wedding cheetah

blerg, everlasting blort

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Sunday, June 27, 2010

In honor of Pride...

...here's Macdonian drag queen Bojan Jovanovski (aka Boki13)'s music video "Otvori Se". It brings to mind some questions:
1. Don't drag queens have a responsibility to keep trim and... I don't know, womanish?
2. Why the mouse ears?
3. Did Boki13 get money from Apple to produce this video or is the product placement just a coincidence?

Thanks Dlisted

S H O R T I M A G I N E D M O N O L O G U E S .

I'M COMIC SANS, ASSHOLE.

BY MIKE LACHER

- - - -

Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don't like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don't like that I'm all over your sister-in-law's blog? You don't like that I'm on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I'm pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I'm fun. I'm the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business' website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I'm banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I'm shredding "Reign In Blood" on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I'm racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who'll kill me if I don't cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn't even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I'm famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I'm in your signs. I'm in your browsers. I'm in your instant messengers. I'm not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.